Partners and Porn

I’ve been hearing a ton of stories lately from women who want to divorce their husbands or break up with their long-time boyfriends because they watch porn.
Apparently their husbands/boyfriends get it on their whatsapps, through social media, or sometimes they surf the web looking for it, and the ladies feel fed up of finding out their mates’ “dirty little secret”.

Now, there are two ways to approach this scenario. You can either shrug it off and not make a big deal out of it, and be confident in the fact that your man is obviously sleeping with/attracted to you. Or, you can fight every time you find porn on his laptop, feel threatened every time his messages beep, and jeopardize your relationship over a 3-minute clip of some girl-on-girl action.

The fact of the matter is porn exists. Whatsapp groups with dirty jokes and sexy videos being exchanged exist. Sexual pictures on Instagram exist. It would be physically impossible, not to mention exhausting, to try and monitor your man’s behavior on the internet when porn is involved. It also begs the question of whether you trust your partner or not.

A lot of women will argue that it’s disrespectful and they feel insufficient and like they’re “not enough” for their partner. They’ve also said things like “If he was a real man, he’d tell his friends not to send him these videos/pictures out of respect for his marriage.”
While that is a fair notion, keep in mind that he’s not pursuing these video-clip stars/Instagram models.

If I had been faced with this dilemma 5 years ago, I would’ve been furious and may have spent nights crying myself to sleep. But, time (and a healthy honest relationship) has taught me that maturity is key when dealing with these sorts of situations. Why would I divorce my husband or break up with my boyfriend over a sex clip or a dirty joke between two guys? Is it really worth it?

It’s still a sensitive subject to many women. I’m curious to hear your opinion about porn when it comes to your relationships. Do you tolerate it or not? And gentlemen, do you tell your friends to stop sending you dirty things when you’re in a relationship?

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