Here’s the thing with sex/sexuality in Kuwait: everybody does it, but no one ever talks about it.. Like an undercover taboo that we pick at over conversations with our best friends but don’t really discuss.
It could be because of the religious aspect of abstaining till marriage, or it could be the social purgatory you’d send yourself to if you ever told someone that you are sexually active. “3aib” has become more important and feared than “7aram” in some cases, so I think the latter is probably the most true.
I never got the “sex talk” from my mom. I don’t think I’ll get it even if I get married. My married friends never got it either. I guess our moms just assume we know because of the internet and TV and all of the things we’re open to (no pun intended).
I’m not entirely sure how it goes for men, but the guys I’ve dated have never been given the birds-and-the-bees talk from their fathers. Some have (clearly) never even paid attention during that one day in Biology class where your red-faced teacher embarrassedly hurried over the reproductive anatomy section of the textbook. “Can you pee when you’re on your period?” …What?
Because we don’t talk about it and we tie so many social stigmas to people that do do it, sex becomes shameful, disconnected, and after it’s all over, it leaves you feeling like you’ve sinned on behalf of the entire Kuwaiti population.
Another thing about it is that very rarely do you come across a man that not only wants to please a woman, but also knows how. Some Kuwaiti men translate their genetic arrogance into a me-first/me-only attitude in the bedroom. And those who don’t are clueless when it comes to finding out what she likes because they don’t ask.
After so much time spent wondering why it is the way it is, a lengthy conversation with a friend over brunch cemented a plausible theory: because we are raised to understand that we can’t do “it” till we’re married, we experiment with self-pleasure until the time comes. And when Mr./Ms. Right takes too long to find us, our minds and bodies give up on us and we break the unspoken rule of no-sex-till-marriage. And when we break that rule, we go into a whole new world knowing only how to please ourselves and not the other person we’re with. As a result, sex becomes mechanical.
On the contrary, I’m sure plenty of new-age Kuwaitis have zero problems in the bedroom because they’re vocal, inquisitive, and are happy to create a shared loving bond between them and their partner. This sub-culture of Kuwaitis also understand that while it is still a taboo, sex is not a bad thing.
My question is: is it ever going to be okay to discuss sex and all the other branches that come with it freely/openly? And how do we go about changing society’s views on something so natural yet so frowned upon? What do you think?