Unfollow

Social media dating has slowly become more prevalent in our society, and in a way, I’m thankful.
As I mentioned before, it helps us understand who we’re dealing with, their interests, who their friends are, etc.. But, there’s also a flip side: a lot of these people aren’t really who they claim to be.

I’ve made so many friends via Twitter and Instagram, and because of my outgoing nature, I’ve met up with them and established real-life friendships with many of them. Thankfully, they’re all (more or less) the people they claim to be on their accounts. So I figured “why the hell not?” and gave the social media dating idea a chance, keeping my options between Instagram and Twitter. Kik and all those other wacko apps are not for me.

My first Twitter dating experience wasn’t bad at all to begin with: we shared the same interests, he was witty, sweet, and we had tons of mutual friends. We dated casually for a couple of months until one day he confessed that he didn’t like going out (not just with me, but in general), and that he would rather stay home or go to the diwaniya every day, claiming that work left him feeling too tired. I tried to be understanding, but dating is supposed to be an exciting, loving experience, and I didn’t want to settle for something less.

We saw each other less frequently, until all our relationship was hanging by was a phone call every evening and a few text messages. Towards the end, we had absolutely nothing to talk about; no shared experiences, just the usual “Work was good, diwaniya was good” and a brief description of what he had for dinner. Needless to say, the predictability of our conversations and his day-to-day left me completely uninterested.
I ended it and we agreed to stay on good terms, and though he saw it coming, he was very, very butt-hurt about it.

For weeks to come, he would “sub-tweet” me (i.e. address a tweet to me without actually mentioning me) with inside jokes from our short-lived relationship and things like “You broke your promise”, etc.

At first it was funny: was this guy really taking all this pent-up anger to Twitter in an attempt to embarrass me or making me feel guilty for not settling with him? But then it quickly started to annoy me – our mutual friends were noticing it, and it felt pretty disrespectful of him to not talk to me privately about how he was feeling. Every time I confronted him (privately) about his childish behavior, he said it wasn’t about me.
I generously let this go on for three or four weeks till I unfollowed and blocked him.

The way we deal with our exes after the breakup is just as important as the way we treat the person during the relationship. Discretion and respect are slowly becoming a lost art because we’re so accustomed to over-sharing on social media. I think it’s important to keep private things private, and his reaction was the ultimate deal-breaker for me.

Have you ever tried meeting a special someone via social media? How did it go?

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8 thoughts on “Unfollow

  1. kirs10x says:

    If there’s one thing I learned from over 20 years of living in Kuwait, it’s that no matter how Westernized or open minded a Kuwaiti is, you cannot change certain aspects of his mentality. As foreigners, we subconsciously expect Arabs to accept our “unorthodox” ways, but in reality they have certain expectations of us too. After all, we ARE living in their country so the least we can do is be respectful of the cultural differences. We should learn to adapt to their lifestyle rather than assuming that they need to adjust to OUR needs. It boggles me when female expats think that meeting men on social media leads to a substantial relationship. Call me old fashioned, but truth is you’d be lucky if that were even the case in the Western world! Arabs value their traditions and this is what makes their culture appealing. Social media dating, phone dating, even afternoon brunch dating are all Western imported concepts and therefore can never fully assimilate into Arab sociocultural norms. If you don’t show willingness to at least understand their traditions or mentality, you’re in for a disturbing ride. The beauty of cross-cultural relationships is mutual understanding of each other’s culture, we just have to do our part. I know foreigners (both men and women) who are married to Kuwaitis and what makes their relationship successful is the acknowledgement and acceptance of their differences. If you wish to have a relationship with a Kuwaiti, you’ll have to do some adjusting and if you aren’t prepared for it or if it doesn’t appeal to you, then don’t risk creating a reputation for yourself…Kuwait is small and unfortunately people talk.

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  2. Tifani says:

    “Discretion & Respect” always the best way to handle situations.
    Unfortunately these dating issues are worldwide, surely magnified in Kuwait.
    This Blog is skilfully written Well Done!!!

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  3. Analogue says:

    I’ve had 2 really wonderful experiences that began online. I believe they were successful since we started slowly and they were based on forming solid communication and and a mental/personality bond instead of the immediate physical attraction.you get dating someone irl and i;m a guy! I honestly had low expectations but was pleasantly surprised when things worked out so well but i;m pretty much open to every avenue to finding that special someone so the way I see it is the more options the merrier! PS. I’m also Kuwaiti but i pretty much ignore all the “social” rules and norms here and i’m lucky to be surrounded by friends and people around me that also don’t really care about them, life is just easier this way and it’s too short to waste on what people think about your own personal life. you have one life to live and then poof you’re gone and they’re ain’t nothing on the other side, so live it to the max and savour every minute!
    Great to have discovered your blog and really appreciate you openness and honesty so i look forward to your posts.Never came across a Kuwaiti girl quite like you!

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    • Thank you for sharing your experiences and your kind comment!
      I agree; forming a solid foundation based on communication and mutual interest is so important, and online dating really helps establish that!

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