Social media dating has slowly become more prevalent in our society, and in a way, I’m thankful.
As I mentioned before, it helps us understand who we’re dealing with, their interests, who their friends are, etc.. But, there’s also a flip side: a lot of these people aren’t really who they claim to be.
I’ve made so many friends via Twitter and Instagram, and because of my outgoing nature, I’ve met up with them and established real-life friendships with many of them. Thankfully, they’re all (more or less) the people they claim to be on their accounts. So I figured “why the hell not?” and gave the social media dating idea a chance, keeping my options between Instagram and Twitter. Kik and all those other wacko apps are not for me.
My first Twitter dating experience wasn’t bad at all to begin with: we shared the same interests, he was witty, sweet, and we had tons of mutual friends. We dated casually for a couple of months until one day he confessed that he didn’t like going out (not just with me, but in general), and that he would rather stay home or go to the diwaniya every day, claiming that work left him feeling too tired. I tried to be understanding, but dating is supposed to be an exciting, loving experience, and I didn’t want to settle for something less.
We saw each other less frequently, until all our relationship was hanging by was a phone call every evening and a few text messages. Towards the end, we had absolutely nothing to talk about; no shared experiences, just the usual “Work was good, diwaniya was good” and a brief description of what he had for dinner. Needless to say, the predictability of our conversations and his day-to-day left me completely uninterested.
I ended it and we agreed to stay on good terms, and though he saw it coming, he was very, very butt-hurt about it.
For weeks to come, he would “sub-tweet” me (i.e. address a tweet to me without actually mentioning me) with inside jokes from our short-lived relationship and things like “You broke your promise”, etc.
At first it was funny: was this guy really taking all this pent-up anger to Twitter in an attempt to embarrass me or making me feel guilty for not settling with him? But then it quickly started to annoy me – our mutual friends were noticing it, and it felt pretty disrespectful of him to not talk to me privately about how he was feeling. Every time I confronted him (privately) about his childish behavior, he said it wasn’t about me.
I generously let this go on for three or four weeks till I unfollowed and blocked him.
The way we deal with our exes after the breakup is just as important as the way we treat the person during the relationship. Discretion and respect are slowly becoming a lost art because we’re so accustomed to over-sharing on social media. I think it’s important to keep private things private, and his reaction was the ultimate deal-breaker for me.
Have you ever tried meeting a special someone via social media? How did it go?