Beard

Dating post-drivers-license was a losing game for me. Looking back, I realize I had wasted a good two years with someone who had too many skeletons in his closet (and could possibly be closeted himself) to have a normal, healthy relationship.

We met under cliche circumstances: I discovered that my car had a flat tire in the parking lot of a busy supermarket/strip mall. He came to the rescue, gave me his number, and told me to call him to let him know I made it home safely. The naïve teenager in me called him and thanked him, and the rest was history.

In the beginning, it was all rainbows and butterflies. Even though he didn’t speak a word of English, he would text me all day, ask to see me, and make me feel like I was the only woman in the world. For someone who’d never been with a “typical Kuwaiti” guy before, I was pleasantly surprised!

A few months into our relationship, I began to notice something was very off. He craved attention; not just from me, but from every “it” girl in Kuwait. Time and time again I’d find numbers and texts and pictures in his phone, and he’d tell me they meant nothing, or that his friend had used his phone to text some girl… The list of excuses piled on until I couldn’t take it anymore.

What the hell could this guy want more than he already had? He was from a prominent family, lived in a nice house, was quite handsome, had no health issues…
After months of prodding for answers, his best friend confided in me that Mr. Attention Whore has homosexual tendencies and that the guys at the diwaniya were slowly ebbing away from him. The first thought that came to my mind was the many times he asked me if I’d mind having anal sex if we ever got married. Putting two and two together, I assumed that the reason why he was being a man-whore was an attempt to reinforce his heterosexuality to himself and to his friends. Needless to say, I wasn’t having it.

When I broke it off with him, I plainly told him it wasn’t working out. He cried and begged me to come back for months, and his mom and sisters would call, too, telling me that they missed me and asked me to reconsider.

Later on in life, I’d learn that this was a Kuwaiti epidemic; some men, both single and married, have homosexual urges or are closeted, and get married to unknowing women to save their reputation or to reinforce their manliness. While the thought alone repulses me, I’d joke with my friends that at least I had lost him to a man and not another woman.

Lesson learned: Never jump into a relationship without checking all the bases, the dugout, the locker room, and the stadium. If something seems fishy, steer clear and move on.

Have you ever been in a relationship where you questioned your man’s sexuality? How did you address it?

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18 thoughts on “Beard

  1. Oren says:

    Being a beard flat-out sucks girl, you really can’t tell who’s gay & who isn’t in this neck of the woods. The Gulf is one gargantuan closet & yes that bitch was over-compensating. Move on. Next.

    Like

  2. Alican says:

    Hi dear,

    I heard similar to this stories a lot nowadays which is make me surprise a lot.I m expat and I m from Istanbul.. and everything happened from social pressure and is not easy to meet with someone in Gcc Countries.
    I wish best luck 😉

    Like

  3. Ahmed says:

    It is really interesting to see the prospect of dating from a Local Kuwaiti girl , it makes me feel there are other “Normal” girls that feel free to express their views , I am not a Kuwaiti in blood but it does live in my blood, congratulations and all the best with all the comments and reviews you will receive.

    I guess you will receive alot of negativity , but take it up as a sign that people are actually reading your blog..

    Good luck…

    Ahmed

    Like

    • Thank you! Those who get angry/defensive over my experiences don’t bother me at all. I’m just speaking out about all the BS I’ve been through! Thank you so much for your support and thanks for visiting!

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  4. Your story is typical of the dating scene, one can never find out if a single man is really straight and it seems like the ones who are wealthy have those tendancies which leaves the broke ones. I know someone who got married to a ‘nice guy’ from a certain manly tribe only to find out he wanted the backdoor romp as well. He also had a ‘best friend’ who acted more like a gf with the constant texting of hearts and flowers. They divorced after 3 months, of course after he got his 6000KD and application for a house. I’m thinking he will be enjoying all of those perks with his ‘best friend’.

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  5. Yousif says:

    Nice blog from a local Kuwaiti perspective. Love how u are open about ure experiences amongst the often tricky, and difficult dating scene in kuwait and surprised to hear about how much the coverup “homosexuality ” scene is. I know the act of saving face and “what will people think of me” often dictates decisions on love and intimacy. Remember kuwait is small and the social stigma can be superficial; once outside no one really cares who ure with and really what u do. So keep looking at the bigger picture of things and go for it !

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  6. Now I really like you! If you can write about all that then you are really my type of person! Too funny. I dated a guy here once (very wealthy, still single at 40ish) who might have been a rump-ranger, but I wasn’t 100% sure until he started asking me to (damn, how do I put this???) spend time on his breasts. I HAVE the girls. HE doesn’t have the girls! He wasn’t spending any time with MY girls. Just talking about it makes me feel like I was very close to experimenting with lesbianism (only with a dude). Nothing should shock me anymore, and yet….

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  7. *Trying not to laugh* but the thing is this “RESCUING A FLAT TIRE ON A BUSY ROAD” gets you the number much easily than waiting the whole evening on Share3 Al-7ub. Been there Done That !

    P.S. i’d like to add that these days boys give you more attention on this “Love Street” than girls do! i guess #TheFaultInOurCars 😉

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  8. AmericanLookingForAnOpenMindedKuwaitiGirl says:

    I thought it was understood that most Arab men were closeted homosexuals? Not that there is anything wrong with that.

    Like

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