Dating Dilemmas

By the time I was 18, my mom started to pay closer attention to who I was dating. Were they eligible? Were they committed? How soon could they, if marriage was in the books, propose?

Don’t get me wrong: my mom has always known about my dating adventures and she had never once made me feel any sort of pressure to get married. However, social stigmas and the fact that my family is so liberal wasn’t the greatest formula.
But at 18, I was still young and having fun. Sure, the thought of being in a committed relationship crossed my mind several times, but it never came to fruition because of the losers in my age range that I would eventually date.

Getting my drivers license was my ticket to freedom. I could cruise around for hours, go to a friend’s house, go to dinner, go to a movie, and not have to worry about the driver picking me up before curfew or not having any sort of privacy.
So, I did what any 18 year-old at the time would do: get dolled up, cruise up and down Share3 Al-7ub (AKA Love St.) with my friends, get juice from Tha7ya, and at the end of the night, go through all the phone numbers that had been given to us by the guys that saw us, trying to remember who’s number belonged to the guy in the Range Rover and if the guy in the G-Class was Ahmad or Yousef. We never called any of them, but it was fun seeing how many numbers we could collect. Some guys would be so confused and desperate, they’d stop us and chat us up twice without realizing we were the same girls from two hours ago.

If my mom taught me anything that stuck, it would be that boys you find on the street are probably picking 5 or 6 other girls up along with you. But at 18, in a country with no real social events/scenes and where interacting freely with a stranger (let alone of the opposite sex) is considered a taboo, how else were we supposed to meet guys?

Ten years later, we face the same problem. Social media has taken the place of being chased by cars down the street, and while it is a better alternative that makes it easier to understand the male psyche, it presents a few challenges:

1) Meeting someone off the internet is still considered weird and unsettling to some.

2) A ton of people, men and women alike, live double lives and aren’t really who they say/tweet/instagram/snapchat they are.

3) The rapidly rising rate of homosexuality in Kuwait makes the chances of finding a single, eligible, STRAIGHT guy even more difficult, even with social media.

Still, I took a couple of chances, which I will discuss later. Please bear in mind that I do not speak for all Kuwaiti women, but I’m certain that the majority share these challenges when it comes to dating!

Out of curiosity: how do you go about meeting people in a country that has unintentionally(?) created restrictions on ways to meet people?

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7 thoughts on “Dating Dilemmas

  1. Saud says:

    Did most of the men you dated have homosexual tendencies ? Oh boy this is awkward, but then I don’t blame them because this usually happens because of the lack of socializing and how it’s hard to communicate with a girl over here, Don’t forget that alot of women here are homosexuals too, I blame the segregated schools and how they never teach you how to communicate with the other sex. Anyway great read 🙂

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  2. Oren says:

    When trying to explain homosexuality in the Gulf to my American friends, I often times blank out on how to explain it. It’s taboo, on the DL yet most Kuwaiti men I know are neither gay, nor straight, they’re just Gulfies-they are their own species almost, I can’t explain it.

    I lived in America for seven years and I never ever ever met a single, self-claimed hetero man who had homosexual tendencies on the side. I also have close straight male friends in Denmark, England, Norway, Israel, Brazil, Senegal………they’re not like that. The majority pick a camp, straight or gay, the bisexuals are few and far in between. And it’s America, Land of the Brave & Free, you can do whomever you want but no, you’ll be hard pressed to find a guy like that there yet here in the pious, self-righteous Gulf, they’re everywhere! And the way they go about it is revolting. The way they approach homosexuality is so regressive. No, I don’t want to suck your cock in your chalet and then be on my merry way, I want a meaningful relationship thank you.

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    • I hear you, Oren! I’m all for sexual freedom as long as there is mutual respect. Homosexuality in Kuwait means, for some, a lavish lifestyle filled with travel and dressing nicely and being well-kempt. For others, it means being trying everything they can to become (and even compete with) women.
      I was raised to understand that a man can have feelings for another man, and regardless of what my religion states, I love/respect people of all sexual orientations.
      What I DON’T like, as you put it, is when guys take the bits and pieces of homosexuality that they’d enjoy and disrespect their partner in the process. It’s not fun and games. Unless there’s mutual consent.

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  3. MH says:

    I’m in my 20’s and I’m still trying to figure that out. I know we have some interesting events that come up here and there. And I try my best to attend them. But still, it hasn’t been easy. Especially since I’m no longer a university student and I have to find other ways to meet single guys. So, if you have any tips/tricks, please share!

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    • I hear you, sister! It’s not the same as it used to be. A decade ago, you could get married by just staying home and being your pretty self. Now, finding Mr. Right takes a lot of effort.
      Social media would be a good place to start and look around. If you see anyone you’d think is interesting at an event, don’t be afraid to strike a conversation. Good luck!

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    • americanlookingforanopenmindedkuwaitigirl says:

      What!? Where are you free-spirited Kuwaiti women hanging out? My single friends and I like living in Kuwait, but the rarity of an independent Kuwaiti girl has always been an issue. I don’t want to generalize, but most seem to only want to be seen in the trendiest coffee shops, in the nicest cars, carrying the latest designer handbag, and generally just flaunting their lavish lifestyles.

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